


some type of happiness

by eridex



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Relationship Study, in conclusion: theyre both dumb, mentions of makoto yuuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eridex/pseuds/eridex
Summary: some types of happiness don't come back(but maybe if we try once more...)or: the one where leo and izumi get together, break up, and choose each other again.(For Izuleo Week 2020, Day 2 - Again)
Relationships: Sena Izumi/Tsukinaga Leo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	some type of happiness

Love comes easily to Leo.

Leo loves his elementary school classmates, even if they give him strange looks and don’t play with him. He loves his junior high classmates, even if they’re always too busy to hangout after class and forget to invite him when they aren’t. 

And when high school rolls around, Leo expects to love all his new classmates just the same. What he doesn’t expect is the way his breath catches when he happens upon a classroom—empty, save for one boy singing his heart out in a voice that’s hilariously out of tune.

Izumi is the gentle glow of the moon and the light of the stars and the warmth of the sun, and Leo—

Leo loves him.

Leo falls _in_ love with him.

Not immediately. But somewhere between the shared lunches and long practices and weekend outings, Izumi becomes everything. Leo’s had friends before, and he has friends now, but none of them are as kind or as caring as Izumi. None of them invite him to their houses, and none of them really _get_ his music like Izumi does.

Shortly after winter break of their first year, Leo confesses. It’s not a planned confession, but Leo’s never been good with plans.

Izumi’s parents are out of town, so of course Leo volunteered to keep him company. What else are friends for? It’s nice, being at Izumi’s house. It isn’t too different from his own—middle-class, situated in a quiet neighborhood—but it smells like Izumi. Or maybe it’s Izumi who smells like the house. Either way, Leo breathes easier here.

Watching Izumi prepare dinner is a treat. He’s all graceful movements and skilled hands, and tendrils of a new melody are already coming to life in Leo’s head at the sight. For someone who’s always counting calories and nagging Leo about the junk he puts in his body, Izumi’s katsudon is fried to perfection. Leo could spend the rest of his life eating it. He…

He could spend the rest of his life like this, with Izumi.

It’s a silly idea. They’re only in high school, after all, but still. Leo’s never been happier than when he’s with Izumi. He’s never had so much fun, so much inspiration. 

And as Leo helps Izumi clear the table and wash the dishes, he imagines himself—older, taller—doing the same motions with a similarly aged-up Izumi by his side. It’s domestic, almost. 'Leo' and 'domestic' don’t really belong in the same sentence, but apparently that goes out the window when it’s Izumi.

A splash of warm water jolts Leo out of his thoughts. He looks down at the growing wet spot on his shirt and laughs as Izumi scolds him for not paying attention. The replacement Izumi fetches for him is some gaudy tourist shirt with palm trees and a smiley face sun.

(Izumi swears he's never worn it, but it’s soft and smells like Izumi and Leo never wants to give it back.)

Here’s the thing: Leo didn’t plan on staying the night. Again, he's not a planner. He’s never slept over someone’s house, and Izumi hasn't offered, but Izumi _has_ to listen to his new song before he leaves. Somehow, one song turns into two, then three, and Leo loses count after the tenth. 

They’re sitting on Izumi’s bed, backs against the wall and socked feet dangling over the edge. Izumi's head bobs to the beat, and Leo is mesmerized by how at ease he looks.

The music that flows between them—Leo thinks it tells their story better than words ever could. Words are clunky, and Leo’s never been good at stringing the right ones together, but he _needs_ Izumi to understand how he feels. For once, music isn’t enough.

“Sena,” he says, mouth moving before his mind can catch up and remind him that this is a no-good, terrible idea. He hasn’t found the right words yet, but—

Bathed in moonlight, Izumi is breathtakingly beautiful—pale skin and soft hair and delicate features, all cast in silver. Like this, it’s easy to believe that Izumi isn’t human at all, and it almost feels like…

Like Izumi will disappear, if Leo doesn’t say something.

“I love you, Sena.”

“You love everyone.”

No, that’s not it. Izumi is—he’s _different_. Special. But how can Leo make him understand? “Sena is my muse,” he says, willing the nervous tremble of his hands to stop. “When I’m with you, it feels like I’ll never run out of inspiration.”

And maybe Leo’s getting somewhere, because Izumi doesn’t immediately brush him off.

“I’ll never run out, because Sena’s already given me more than a lifetime’s worth. S-So take responsibility, okay? Hold my hand, and we can make music together forever.”

Izumi kisses him then, and Leo’s pretty sure he’ll spend the rest of his life craving the feeling of Izumi's lips smiling against his own.

When Leo falls asleep with Izumi’s body curled around his, their legs tangled together underneath the covers, it’s hard to imagine that he could ever be cold again.

* * *

Knights is on the brink of ruin.

Izumi calls him _Ousama_ , and suddenly Leo is six again, composing by himself on the playground. Leo is twelve again, watching as all the other kids laugh and smile and leave in groups that he’ll never be a part of.

Izumi calls him _Ousama_ , and Leo is alone again.

Even so, now that he’s known Izumi’s warmth, Leo will do anything to protect it—to protect _him_.

“I-I’m going home! ‘Cause I dunno what I’m even saying anymore! Sorry, Sena! Forget everything I said—we… we’re done. It’s over.”

Leo doesn’t stay long enough to see the look on Izumi’s face. He’s sure Izumi would see through his own if he did. Maybe he can tell anyway. 

Whatever Izumi sees or doesn’t see, he doesn’t chase after Leo.

Freezing to death, Leo realizes, isn’t so bad when he’s too numb to feel a thing.

* * *

Leo bleeds.

His hands, his mind—they’re broken. They have to be. Composing is supposed to be his one gift from God, _so why can’t he compose anything?_

Sleep evades him. Or maybe it’s Leo who evades sleep. It’s hard to sleep when he only wakes up feeling more exhausted than before. His dreams are always the same—the audience is booing, and he desperately searches for Izumi onstage, but it's just Leo. 

He sees Izumi outside his dreams sometimes. The hallucinations start after the third or fourth day of no rest, and Leo can’t decide if he wants to laugh or cry when the fake Izumi sneers and calls him pathetic.

Eating isn't any easier than sleeping. Food makes his stomach churn, but some days he'll remember the katsudon Izumi made the night he confessed and manage a few mouthfuls of whatever his parents bring him.

On the day that would have been their first anniversary, Leo looks at his hands and notices the scars. Imprints of teeth and jagged lines mar his once flawless skin.

Izumi would hate them.

* * *

Izumi looks at him like he’s a stranger.

Maybe Leo is a stranger. He’s certainly not the boy who left all those months ago.

 _Leo-kun_ died, but his feelings for Izumi are stronger than ever, and Leo is selfish enough to pursue them again. More than anything, Leo wants to call Izumi his again.

“Izumi-chan’s in love with the glasses boy from Trickstar,” Arashi tells him, pity shining in her eyes, and Leo feels like he’s breaking all over again.

* * *

Leo hates Makoto Yuuki like he hates Mozart.

That is to say, Leo doesn’t hate him at all. Makoto is a good kid—a little timid, but hardworking and handsome underneath those glasses he hides behind. What Leo _hates_ is the bitter taste in his mouth when Izumi chases after Makoto.

Izumi says that he loves Makoto, and Leo forces himself to swallow the fact that he’s no longer part of Izumi’s happiness.

* * *

It’s been over half a year, but Izumi’s hand is as warm as Leo remembers it.

The hallway outside the music room is already home to their intermission, so it’s only fitting that they pick up where they left off. This is their final act, after all.

“Tch, Ousama, don’t you know I’m busy? Where are you…” 

Izumi’s voice trails off as they reach their destination, and Leo takes the opportunity to close his eyes and breathe.

“I love you, Sena,” he says, because it’s still true. It won't ever not be true.

“Why are we here?” Izumi’s fists are clenched, and he’s shaking.

“I want you back, even though I was the one who abandoned you. But you’ve moved on, haven’t you?”

“Ousama… what’s the meaning of this?”

Leo forces himself to look Izumi in the eye, and it’s the same blue that’s haunted him since the day he left. “I just wanted you to know how I feel. That’s pretty selfish, isn’t it? Sorry, Sena, it’s not fair to you at all. But I don’t think I can move on without telling you one more time.”

“Who said anything about moving on?” Izumi asks, and Leo resists the urge to smooth the furrow between his brows.

“Sena fell in love with someone else, so I need to move on, too, right?" he says instead. "I’d only be hurting both of us by clinging onto these feelings. So I guess what I’m trying to do is say goodbye.” For once, the words are flowing.

Izumi’s fist meets the drywall, the thud echoing in the empty hallway, and Leo’s never seen him look quite so pissed. “You don’t get to leave me again! Saying goodbye? Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?”

“Ah, don’t worry, I’ll still take part in Knights acti—“

“You’re so fucking _stupid_! I-I hate you!”

Leo’s heard it before, in his dreams and hallucinations, but hearing the words from the _real_ Izumi’s lips hurts more than he could have ever imagined. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing… stop… stop _leaving_ me, goddammit…”

And oh, Izumi’s tear-streaked face is worse than any _“I hate you.”_

Leo’s hand hovers above Izumi’s shoulder, unsure. “Sena deserves better than some cowardly king.”

“You don’t get to decide that!” Izumi’s the one that bridges the distance between them, grabbing a fistful of Leo’s blazer. “You don’t get to decide that I’ve moved on either! Newsflash! I haven’t! I'm a mess if you haven't noticed!”

“But—“

“Yuu-kun is different,” Izumi says. “I have to protect him because… because I didn’t protect you.”

“It wasn’t your job to protect me.”

Something dangerous flashes in Izumi’s eyes, but he lets go of Leo and takes a step back. “You were my _boyfriend_. Of course I had to protect you.”

“We both failed then,” Leo says. “I let myself fall from grace. I promised I’d make your dreams come true, but I only caused you more pain.”

“Stop acting like it’s too late. Get back up! I’ve fallen, too, you know? But it was you who taught me that broken things can shine again.”

Leo laughs, a little wet, a little hopeful. “Sena’s being optimistic. It’s strange. Have you really changed so much since then? But this part of Sena, I love it, too. And even if Sena loves someone else now, I do want to shine again, with you and the rest of Knights.”

“I told you, Yuu-kun is different,” Izumi says, jaw clenched. “I love Yuu-kun, but I was _in_ love with Leo-kun.”

Something in Leo’s chest aches—a sharp pain, different from the constant pressure that’s been there since he walked away. It's strange. Izumi's words are a relief, a reassurance that he truly had loved Leo, but they're also a confirmation that whatever he felt back then was in the past. 

“Stop acting like everything was your fault when I was the one who tainted you. The person you used to be died because of me. Because I let myself be consumed by hatred and was too prideful to notice you were hurting. All of it was my fault, alright? That’s why… when you came back, I couldn’t get close to you again. I couldn’t _break_ you again. For a while, I tried convincing myself that this new you was too different, but that’s not true at all, is it? Because Leo-kun is still Leo-kun.”

“Sena…”

Leo’s not sure who moves first, but he melts into Izumi's embrace as if there isn't a whole sea of broken things between them. His breath hitches as he inhales the familiar scent of Izumi’s expensive cologne and it finally feels like he’s come home.

“I’m sorry,” Izumi says, voice muffled in Leo’s shoulder. “I'm sorry. I-I don't think we can ever go back to how things were, but… I want to try again.

“I want to fall in love with you again, Leo-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes it's almost 7am and i havent slept. went with my own prompt for day 2 of izuleo week bc ive been wanting to write this one for a while..
> 
> twt @tsunsena if anyone wants to chat or see more izlo hcs/aus/etc
> 
> update 6/22: made some small edits


End file.
